A Vivid Encounter with God 

In the early years of her faith, Emily Lai went on a Holy Land tour led by Rev Isaac Lim. There, she and her husband, Henry Lai, had a special experience that left an indelible mark on her faith journey.

Emily recounts: “On this day, the members of the tour group were on the way to see the finger of John the Baptist, and to get there, we had to cross a large open field.

An election was taking place on the field at that time. It was crowded and people were dressed in black. Many were perched on the surrounding trees, which were leafless, to get a good vantage point for the happenings on the ground.

The members formed a single file, walking behind our leader — Henry was the fifth in line; I was behind him. As we were making our way through the crowd, a group of people crossed our path, and we were broken away from the four members who were ahead.

Henry was now leading our line. Not seeing the way through, the remaining members decided to link hands in a single file, to avoid losing each other.

Suddenly, God sent someone to stop the crowd from passing, and the passage was clear for us to go through. A path opened up for us amidst the crowd of black.

It was like Moses and the parting of the Red Sea.”

For Emily, the scene portrayed a vivid image of how God has worked and encouraged her in her life struggles — clearing a path for her through the storms and darkness, sending people to hold her hands and guide her. He has always been there with her, navigating her through life, whether she has known it or not.

Sent to a Mission School

Born in 1938 to a businessman and a homemaker, Emily nee Yow Yin Lan had a carefree childhood, being the youngest in a family of three boys and two girls. With three of her siblings being much older and living in Hong Kong, she and her other brother who remained in Singapore enjoyed the attention of their parents who pampered them.

Her education was a point of contention between her parents. Her only other sister was homeschooled, and her mother was insistent on having her younger daughter receive an English education in a regular school. Her mother won over her father, and Emily was sent to Fairfield Methodist Girls’ School, becoming the only child to attend a mission school among her siblings.

It was at school where she first learnt about the Christian faith, being a member of the Girls’ Brigade. She participated in the Christmas Pageant every year, acting as a little lamb, a shepherd, a wiseman, even Joseph, but never Mary, because she was “not pretty enough”.

Fending for Herself

When Emily was 13 years old, her father’s business failed, and her family fell into financial difficulties. Without pocket money, Emily had to find a way to fend for herself, and following in her brother’s footsteps, she started giving tuition. Her clients were lower primary school students whom she taught in groups three times a week. She collected five dollars for each student, earning her a good 120 dollars a month for her efforts.

Her tuition endeavours, while lucrative, took a toll on her O-Level grades. With the tertiary education path closed to her, she considered what she could do, not receiving any counselling at that time about her future. She took up a shorthand typing course, which she attended at night, while continuing with her tuition work in the day. 

Carving a Professional Path

Emily landed her first job as a stenographer in an insurance company. At that time, there was no copying machine, and copies were made by manually typing (on a typewriter) the same document multiple times. Once, working under a strict lawyer, she was tasked to type over 20 copies of the same letter. Because she missed out a comma, she was made to type the whole stack of letters again, all over 20 of them.

“That lesson really taught me to be careful and to open my eyes to check my work thoroughly,” Emily reminisces, laughing.

In her 12-year-long secretarial career, she had been secretary to a technical director, a trade commissioner, a medical professor — all in different industry sectors. She was secretary too in an aviation company where she rose to be Assistant Manager.

Meeting, Marrying and Managing Family

It was love at first sight for Henry Lai when he laid eyes on this young lady at a friend’s birthday party in 1956. Emily, on the other hand, did not quite notice the young man who had taken a special interest in her — to the point that he managed to overhear Emily giving her telephone number to someone else.

When the party ended, a male friend sent Emily home in his car, and unknown to her, Henry followed the car on his motorcycle. He would ride past her home many times after that, in the hope of catching a glimpse of her.

Eventually, this outstanding youth — tall, thin and the life of a party — won her heart. At that time, she was already working and he was training to be a teacher.

They had been dating for over two years when Emily’s mother fell critically ill. Following the traditional Chinese belief Chōngxǐ (冲喜[i]¹, the young couple rushed to hold a wedding in 1959, even though it was not within their plans to get married yet.

In 1961, they welcomed their first child, the eldest of four daughters, whose names ascended in syllable count along with their birth order — Joyce, Sandra, Patricia and Veronica.

Just like Emily’s parents, Henry and Emily had different opinions about their children’s schooling. Henry had a bilingual education — he had attended a Chinese school, Yeung Ching School², in the morning, and Oldham Methodist School³ in the afternoon. He deemed it important for the girls to have a good grounding in Mandarin in a school with a strong Chinese foundation, while Emily wanted them to study in her alma mater. Henry convinced Emily, and all their children were educated at St Nicholas Girls’ School, a mission school with a solid bilingual focus.

With four young children and three helpers (in the form of older relatives who helped out around the house), there was plenty to deal with on the home front. While her career was fulfilling, Emily, on Henry’s request, resigned from her corporate work in 1969, the year her youngest was born.

Journey of Faith

As both Henry and Emily had attended Methodist schools and were in the Boys’ and Girls’ Brigade, they were aware of Wesley Methodist Church (WMC). At one point, they tried bringing their young family to church, but there was no one who followed up or connected with them after the service.

The impression that Emily had of church at that time was such: “It was like going to watch a movie in the cinema, and everyone just goes off after the movie ends, back to their own lives.”

As they received little encouragement to continue, they stopped going to church. Her family and mother-in-law practised ancestral worship, and she gravitated towards their traditions. As an obedient daughter-in-law, she undertook duties such as performing festive rituals and cleaning the ancestral worship altar. She did not know the plans God had for her sometime in the future.

“Though we were wayward, God was waiting and watching over us all the time. It was all in His time.”

Being Her Own Boss

After she had resigned from her job at the aviation company, her ex-boss requested her help to look for housing for the company’s new staff. Through that fateful start, she received more opportunities in that area, which led to her starting her own property agency, Lai Housing Agency.

Emily also registered as a life insurance agent and subsequently started a company which carried furniture and home appliances. Her companies offered her expatriate clients who moved to Singapore a whole package service, from finding a suitable property to furnishing the home and helping to hire domestic helpers, etc.

The two decades from 1970 onward were interesting and hectic for Emily, as she wore many hats in her work and family life. She received good support from her workers and associates, as well as from her family members. She even had help at work from her daughter Joyce, whom she trained to help clients open PUB⁴  accounts.

Concerned that she was overworked, Henry quit his teaching job to join her in the business. He was a “people’s person”, and so he handled the clients while Emily did the sourcing of the properties — their strengths complemented each other. With clients from major companies like Penta Ocean, Halliburton and the Japanese School, business thrived.

Emily recalls: “We didn’t plan any of this. As we prospered, we were self-centred and arrogant; we wanted status, health, wealth, travels and everything. God gave us many opportunities — we didn’t know that and thought we did it all on our own — until God said, ‘No, no, no.’ ”

Turning Point

Life was going well, until the turning point in late 1991.

It was Henry’s birthday, which fell on Christmas Eve, and the couple was enjoying the festivities along Orchard Road. They received a call that Joyce was at Mount Elizabeth Hospital. She was diagnosed with terminal blood cancer and was given only six months to live.

The news hit the family hard. At that time, Joyce, who was headhunted and trained in design in Japan, had just turned 30 years old. Veronica, who was very close to her eldest sister, was just starting university.

Emily became Joyce’s sole caregiver. Though she was at the height of her career, she had to retire to take care of Joyce.

In that period, Emily was an emotional wreck. “Every morning, at 5 or 6am, I would drive myself to a temple, even to one far away. My sister, who was then staying with me for a while, saw me doing that every day — as well as burning incense and sobbing away. She asked why I was doing all these things. She said that I must keep myself healthy and not cry every day.” Her sister’s words impressed on Emily that something must change.

Finding Church Anew

Patricia had been studying in the United States (US) where she had the opportunity to be nurtured by an American couple— Professor and Mrs Lofgran. The couple opened their home to overseas students and accompanied them on their spiritual walk. Upon returning home from her studies in the US, one day she found her sister Joyce restless, sad and seeking. Patricia took her for a ride and sat in a park with her to watch the sunset. Joyce asked Patricia if there was a God and why He allowed her to be terminally ill at the height of her career. Patricia answered in the affirmative and told Joyce that they needed to trust in Him under all circumstances.

Joyce requested to go to the church Patricia was attending, so together with Emily and family, they all went to WMC.

This time, the reception that the family received at church was entirely different from their previous experience. They found a warm and active community who lovingly welcomed the family into their fold.

“To mention a few, people like Rev Kang Ho Soon, Rev Wee Boon Hup, Pastors George Wan, Lawrence Wong, Gabriel Liew and Francis Khoo, etc., truly made us feel at home this time.”

They received tremendous emotional support from the lay personnel and members of the church, who prayed for them consistently. Church members purposely sought them out, bringing along their guitars to worship with them. The family experienced a strong community which was edifying and encouraging, and they sank roots in the church.

Emily was baptised in WMC in August 1992 together with five other family members — Henry, Joyce, Patricia, Veronica and her then boyfriend, Wilson.

Growing Deeper Faith and Witnessing Miracles

Emily and Henry were active in the prayer meetings held by Francis Khoo⁵ at Caldecott, where their faith grew by leaps and bounds. The weekly meetings, which comprised prayers, singing and sermons by guest speakers, were vibrant and popular, with sometimes up to 100 attendees, coming from various churches, including WMC.

It was at one of the prayer meetings that the family witnessed the beginning of God’s healing for Joyce — when she was prayed upon and was slain while sitting cross-legged. It happened quite early on, when they first started to attend the prayer meetings.

There were many other miracles. Emily recounts: “He is a faithful Father. After each experience, I grew stronger in faith.”

One time when Emily was at the altar, Pastor Gabriel Liew ministered to her. He told Emily to tell Joyce to look into King Hezekiah who was very ill but asked God to extend his life by ten years because he had many things to do. After Emily and Joyce read about King Hezekiah together, Joyce prayed, asking for God’s healing.

Joyce reported that later when she was sleeping in her room, Jesus appeared as a bright light sweeping from her feet to her head and passing through the window. She was so excited that she went into her parents’ bedroom and shouted, “I saw Jesus!” Joyce knew that it was a confirmation of His impending healing on her. Subsequently, God confirmed the healing through news of remission.

On another occasion in hospital, God gave Joyce the word ‘Goshen’ in a dream. Upon searching up the word with a pastor, Emily found that Goshen referred to a land of plenty in Egypt. She recalls: “It was a signal to us not to worry about anything.”

God’s love, encouragement and healing on Joyce was apparent. Subsequently, through ups and downs, she had several remissions.

Even her marriage was a miracle. Joyce was asked to go for a bone marrow transplant, and the hospital sent a young man, Vincent, to speak to her and give her more information about the procedure. Not too long after, he proposed to Joyce.

When Vincent asked Emily if he could have Joyce’s hand, she voiced her reservations, telling him, “It is good that you want to take care of her, but why don’t you just leave it at that (remain as boyfriend and girlfriend)?”

His answer to her was: “I want to look after her.”

Joyce’s life was extended by nine-and-a-half years, surviving 10 years in all — exactly what she had prayed for. Once, Joyce said to Emily, “I should have asked for more years.” To that, Emily responded, “Those were the number of years that God wanted to give you.”

Vincent and Joyce were married for seven years. Vincent has been a great blessing to the family, and he remains close to the family even after Joyce’s passing.

Shepherding and Growing Their Faith

In the midst of their busy family life, Henry and Emily were eager to grow their faith and determined to carve out time to serve the Lord. Being facilitators in Baptism and Membership Class (BMC) almost immediately after their graduation from it, however, was not in the plan.

They were new Christians and newly baptised themselves, so they felt nervous and inadequate. It was frightening to Emily, but the couple bravely stepped forward, believing that when God calls, He will supply.

It was the beginning of a 30-year journey of service in BMC.

In the first BMC group that they facilitated, there was a member, Tan Kok Guan, who was then a senior lawyer. Emily and Henry felt quite intimidated and wondered if they could handle his questions. They need not have feared as Mr Tan turned out to be amicable, and even opened his house for the group meetings. For Emily, it was God telling her, “You take care of things, and I will take care of your fears.”

The objective the facilitators had was to place the members of the BMC group into a new Small Group. The first group became Genesis SG in 1992, comprising around 20 members, with Henry and Emily as leaders, and Victor and Susan Ng as assistants.

The group later birthed another, which Emily and Henry led. Their group named themselves Tiam Tiam Chiak⁶  (referred to as TTC for short, a tongue-in-cheek allusion to Trinity Theological College⁷) and had ten members, which included Ron and Peggy Tan (the couple’s mentors from BMC), and later, Rev Tony Chi and Jenny Chi. The members of the group still keep in touch till this day.

Emily and Henry found it a joy to see people coming to Christ through BMC.

Emily says, “Our greatest desire was to encourage all our BMC groups to form Small Groups, and by the grace of God, we had been successful. We walked with the groups until they were well settled and then we moved on. We felt happy and blessed to see our BMC members grow and step forward to serve the church.” 

As they facilitated discussions, they themselves benefitted from the lessons and built their faith. Subsequently, Henry and Emily facilitated their own groups individually, each helping to form new Small Groups separately.

Many BMC graduates, especially couples, remember the nurturing care of the couple even after the course was over.

One such couple is David Loh and Rosalind Ng, who were originally part of Senior Alpha in 2017, and who were in the BMC group facilitated by Emily in 2018, Rosalind has this to say: “Henry and Emily were both dedicated and engaging in helping new attendees. Henry shared many jokes with us, and Emily was a motherly figure to us. They were role models. We appreciate their dedication of many years of selfless, unceasing service and feel privileged to know them through the grace of God. Emily used to tell us to pray without ceasing and we are learning to do that. We wish to thank Henry and family for loving us and showing God’s love to us.”

Elsewhere, in their eagerness to learn, the couple also attended many other classes on their own to nurture their faith, for example, the DISCIPLE⁸ courses and Bible Study Fellowship (BSF)⁹, and they participated in missions to learn evangelism.

Emily recalls, “We enjoyed ourselves. If it was not God working in us, I don’t think we could have done it, because at that time, Joyce was very ill. I remember doing BSF homework in the hospital.”

Joyful Ministering to Seniors

Henry and Emily were both instrumental in the Senior Alpha initiative in WMC. It all began when Rev Lilian Ang, then in charge of starting Senior Alpha, invited them to understudy her during the first run in February 2009. After she was posted away from WMC in 2010, they took over the reins of the programme.

With help from the then Programme Coordinator of Seniors’ Ministry, Zero Fu, the couple recruited facilitators, ran the course and ministered to the elderly.

Emily shares her observations about the participants: “Many of the participants were joyful seniors. Others, though initially reserved, were not shy to speak up when encouraged. Most came for the friendship and community. While some did not know Christ, participants included long-time Christians who wanted to revive their faith and fellowship. They tended to listen intently, with many curious about how the senior believers came to Christ. It gave me a lot of joy to see the seniors opening up, talking and getting to know Jesus better.”

Chia Pee Keng, a Senior Alpha facilitator, shares his thoughts about the couple’s service:

“Emily invited me to be one of the facilitators for Senior Alpha about 15 years ago — that was where I met Henry. Both loved the Lord. They were always sharing how God looked after them, loved and comforted them when they lost their daughter to cancer. They had wonderful testimonies to share during the Alpha sessions and lunch breaks.”

Henry and Emily ran Senior Alpha for two years, before handing the baton over to Albert Lim, supporting him up to 10 runs until Senior Alpha was absorbed into the churchwide Alpha programme.

Zero Fu has this to say of their relationship: “Emily and Henry were such a good team in life and in ministry. They shared the same passion towards God and life. They had a heart for the lost and never hesitated to let God use their talents and time.”

“I enjoyed serving with them in the Seniors’ Ministry. Apart from being gentle with and kind to me, they loved me like their daughter. They even became my prayer warriors when I left Singapore to pursue theological studies and later, when I served in Hong Kong. It was such a privilege to have them supporting me in this faith journey.”

Worshipping with Music and Songs

Henry played the harmonica well and led the Harmonica Ensemble, succeeding Wong Tien Poh. He also taught a group of seniors at Jalan Berseh how to play the harmonica.

Later, Henry and Emily joined Endless Praise¹⁰ as they wanted to learn to sing, on top of performing on the harmonica. They learnt a lot from Jusuf Kam, not only about music, but also about ministering to the elderly — going to the hospitals and old folks’ homes to perform for them. In their caregiving activities through their music, Emily found joy and excitement in evangelism and outreach.

Emily quips: “Henry and I liked to sing but we don’t have good voices. Dorothy Wong was a very good singer, so I always tried to sit next to her. She sang loudly and beautifully and so I just followed.”

Henry stopped leading the Harmonica Ensemble when he turned 80, passing the baton to Stephen Teng. The couple had been in this group for no less than 20 years and formed good relationships with the members. Once, when Stephen was hospitalised, Emily brewed fish soup for him to aid his speedy healing — that was how kind Emily was.

Creating Beauty With Blooms

When Emily was seeking baptism in 1992, BMC members were encouraged to join a Small Group and a ministry. She joined Faber SG, which was led by Chen Nee Sian and Lucy Chen, and the Floral Ministry.

She learnt the basics of flower arrangement from Mrs Gnana Thevathasan. Team Leaders would select and buy the flowers, which are delivered to church on Friday and soaked in water. They are also in charge of distributing the flowers according to the bouquets. Arrangers would then come and place each stalk, forming them into bouquets, creating the beautiful floral arrangements that adorn the church each week.

Emily enjoys handcrafting the floral bouquets and says this about her work in the ministry: “When I first started, in fact, even now, when I look at the flowers, I would ask the Lord, ‘What do You want me to do with this? Please guide my hand — help me to pick the right flowers and place them in the right positions.’ I have been dependent on the Lord all these years.”

Chia Pee Keng, also a member of the Floral Ministry, observes this about Emily: “I have known Emily for slightly more than 20 years, when I joined the Floral Ministry. Emily is reliable, cooperative and skillful in arranging flowers. She is well-liked by the floral leaders and other arrangers, and [she] is definitely an asset to the Floral Ministry.”

Walking with Henry to the End

Henry was diagnosed with blood cancer in February 2022. Due to Henry’s ill health, Emily stepped down from BMC facilitation that same year. Henry himself had stepped down earlier. 

Emily says: “I really thank God that Henry felt mostly well since his diagnosis, with little sign of suffering and he had no complaints — until the last six months, during which he was prayerful and leaning on the Lord — he was ready for Him.”

Just before Henry’s health deteriorated, God gifted him a trip to Vietnam with their friends from the Usher ministry (Henry served as Head Usher at the Prayer and Praise service from 1997 to 2010 and stepped down from Sanctuary usher service in 2023). The couple enjoyed themselves and made wonderful memories. It was only after the trip that Henry’s health took a turn for the worse.

Henry and Emily worshipped with online videos and did Bible study together every morning before Henry went to be with the Lord in May 2023, aged 88.

Zero Fu observes this about the couple: “Henry and Emily were lovers of fun things. They both like social dance. And they were the best dance partners to each other, in the ballroom as well as in life. In social dance, it takes both parties to know their own roles and be willing to compromise and complement each other in order to make beautiful movements. Henry and Emily were such good complements to each other and together, they had made many wonderful movements in life and in ministry.” 

Continued Enjoyment of Family and Community

Emily is grateful to God for her close-knit and loving family who rally around her, regularly visiting and calling her. She counts herself very blessed and privileged to have been mentored and encouraged by, and to have served alongside, the many pastors and church members who all have played important roles in her walk with God.

What keeps Emily serving faithfully?

“I continue to serve in appreciation of God’s faithfulness and mercies during our difficult times, even [in] the recent departure of my late husband. Praise God for His mercies and grace. All I desire to say is that God has been with me, with us all along.

I pray to always live as described in my favourite Bible verse, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 — ‘Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.’ ”